Why I Kept Writing To Gatsby While He Was Away

The answer to this question is very complicated and doesn't really make sense.  The simple answer is I loved Gatsby.  I know that I was the one that ended things between us because he didn't have a lot of money.  That was probably the stupidest thing I have ever done.  I didn't realize until it was too late that I still loved Gatsby.  I didn't want to let go of him.  Even though I had Tom, Jay was always in the back of my mind.  I kept him a secret from Tom so he wouldn't go crazy.  Apparently, that was useless because it turned out that he had someone on the side too.  But, the heart wants what the heart wants.  I guess there is no reason fussing over it now.

What I Was Feeling When Tom Got The Call At Dinner

When Nick came over for the first time, we had dinner.  In the middle of dinner, the phone rang.  Tom got this look on his face like he didn't know what to do.  All of the sudden, he was called into the other room to answer the phone.  He left.  So many things went through my mind.  Where is he going?  Why didn't he tell me who it is?  I was nervous.  I didn't know what was happening.  He seemed distant when we talked.  I left the table and ran after Tom.  Immediately, he hung up the phone.  We argued for a few minutes.  I was furious.  After we realized that Nick and Jordan were still at dinner, we went back to the table.  I had to act normal, but I was freaking out.  I started saying all kinds of random things to Nick.  I think I frightened him.  We had sat back down, and then it happened.  The phone rang again.  I swear I almost exploded.  I was mad.  Really mad.  When I was talking to Nick after dinner, all of it came together.  It all made sense.  Tom was never around.  He was always somewhere doing something.  Who knows with him?  At this point, I was almost positive there was someone else.  Tom was cheating on me.  With who though?

What I Was Thinking When Tom Invited Me To Tea

Okay... so, I haven't seen my cousin for a while and all of the sudden, he is inviting me over for tea. Why?  I love Nick.  I do.  But why is he asking me to come over for tea.  Isn't this kind of strange? I'm starting to think he has a "thing" for me.  Ew!  And why did he ask me to come alone?  Why can't I bring Tom?  I'm actually kind of scared.  Should I go?  What if he has a plan to kill me or something? Why am I thinking of all negative things?  Maybe it's something good.  Maybe he just wants to spend time with his cousin that he hasn't seen in a while.  Maybe he wants to "catch up."  I am curious of what has been going on in Chicago.  But if he just wants to talk, why can't I bring Tom?  I'm so confused.  The fact that he wanted me to come alone is what concerns me the most.  It doesn't make sense.

Why I Skipped Town After Gatsby Died

Knowing that I am responsible for the death of the love of my life is so painful.  I could not stand to be anywhere near Gatsby or anyone that knew him.  When I found out that Jay had been murdered, I didn't know what to do.  I had to leave town.  I didn't have a choice.  There was no way I would have been able to stay there.  Everything reminded me of him.  I already lost him once and I didn't know if I would ever be able to see him again.  Now he is gone forever.  Also, eventually someone would find out the truth about who killed Myrtle Wilson.  It was me.  I didn't mean to.  I would not be able to live with that if I stayed there.  Everything I see in that town reminds me of that night.  Like I said, everything reminds me of Gatsby and he is the reason I killed Myrtle.  I probably should have gone back for Jay's funeral, but I didn't.  I couldn't.  It would have hurt too much.  Besides, Tom wouldn't let me.  Speaking of Tom, he was another reason I left town.  He made me leave.  I think he just didn't want to take any chances of me leaving him to stay with Gatsby.  That sounds like something I would do.

What I Was Thinking When I Hit Myrtle Wilson

Did I ever love him?  Did he ever love me?  What just happened?  I probably should not have been behind the wheel of Gatsby's car.  I had just told my husband that I never loved him.  That was the only thing I was thinking about.  I honestly don't even think I noticed Myrtle when she ran into the road.  I don't think I cared either.  I didn't even know her.  Why should I feel bad about killing her?  My husband was cheating on me with her.  She deserved to die.  I was angry at Tom.  I was angry at Gatsby.  Why did he make me tell Tom I never loved him?  I did.  I really did.  It may have only been for a short time, but I did love him.  While I was driving, I was not thinking straight.  It's Gatsby's fault.  He's the one who let me drive.  I was shaking, obviously I was angry.  I just wanted to get away.  From everyone.  After I found out that I hit and killed Myrtle, I felt kind of bad.  I just took her life away from her.  If she wasn't dead, maybe she would have taken Tom out of my life and I would be able to be happy with Gatsby.  I guess I'll never know.

What I Was Feeling When I Saw Gatsby

Imagine seeing someone you once loved for the first time in five years.  How would you feel?  I can't even give a name to the feeling that came across me when I saw Jay Gatsby.  It was a mixture of every feeling possible.  Normally when you see someone you haven't seen in forever, you run to them and hug them or something like that.  I couldn't do that.  I didn't know who this man was anymore.  I was paralyzed.  With happiness?  With fear?  I couldn't tell you. When Gatsby first stepped into the room, I felt as though my heart had dropped into my stomach.  I couldn't laugh.  I couldn't cry.  I was so confused.  It seemed like the feelings from five years ago had returned.  Do I love him?  I was scared... I felt like he was judging me.  Every move I made he was watching.  It was kind of creepy.  He just kept staring and it made me feel uncomfortable.  Is there something wrong with me?  How much have I changed in five years?  On top of feeling all of this, I was nervous as anything.   I don't think I had ever been this nervous in my entire life.  I was freaking out.  I think Nick noticed that I was shaking.  Like I said before, words cannot describe how I was feeling.  It was the strangest thing I had ever experienced.